Blabbing

i'm always that one person that's saying human relationship is weird. there is of course lots of reason to that saying. one of them is how people labelled me as a "friendly" person. there's a big pressure and expectations in there, bud. to be honest, i never really liked it. a colleague once told me i got what she called "human magnet" 'cause everyone always willingly feels like speaking to me, they never hesitate to be the one to speak first if it's with me. i admit that because it is valid. but in a way, i never like how it sounds. because with impression comes expectation and with expectation comes demand. that's where things most probably starts to get ugly.

i never really like label. i don't remember exactly since when did i start to have that way of thinking, but as long as i recall, it does more bad than good deeds. there is a simple explanation to that with an example that i encountered many times. when people have an assumption of you, regardless where they got it from, let's say it's your first impression in their eyes, or how you've been described by others, or how they observed how you behaved, or anything else, they tend to expect you'll act according to it and have built a perception of how you should act in any form possible. the truth is it's odd. just because you know me and see me as a friendly person it doesn't mean that it's true. i know it's super naive for me to think or even hoping everyone could understand this somehow. but life is all about hope don't you agree?

like what i'm always blabbing in every platform i have, you don't know people. you just don't. whatever it is that you think you know, sometimes you just don't. i think there will always be a part in me that hoping everyone, or at least, my closest people, internalise that idea and mean it. i always believe that hope is one of the most important thing in life that keeps you alive. so i can say that me myself will always hold on to that one. in a world when you can manipulate everything, being open to every possibility is they key, for me. i think there is more than enough to agree to what we know today is possibly no longer there tomorrow. so just because you think you know someone, it doesn't mean you know them.

i don't know why i spend so many time for spreading this. it could be my kind of defence-mechanism. maybe this is how i thought the best way to spare you and me from getting hurt or hurt others. maybe i just feel like i want to and no meaning at all, or maybe it's just a form of me feeding my own ego. bye all, i mean whoever read this not-so-important post. be kind always.